Thursday, September 03, 2009
If you are following me lately, you would have noticed that something major has happened. Nope, as much I wanted to spend my Dec holidays doing something meaningful at the Youth Expedition Project, I couldn't go now because of this other person whom the rest wanna protect. She's older than me in age, yet appears to be more fragile than me when it comes to her emotions. What she didn't see is the fact that so many of them out there is trying to protect her, shelter her, even as she was the one who refused to face the reality. I don't know what's wrong with her, for her to hate me (or maybe to dislike me?). Our relationship turned from friendship into something else so complicated that I can't imagine. Yet, I can't find out more as well. No matter how far ahead I move closer, she moved further. The good thing is, I'm stepping down this term. No more having to handle this high maintainance friend of mine.
I admit that I did struggle a bit. Tried to hate her for everything that she has done to me. To the extent of having me losing my freedom of choice and opinion. I find her way too cruel to even be called a friend, not wanting to solve the problem, yet make it so big till everyone got to be wary when I come into her picture. Life isn't fair to me then. It wasn't.. While she has a thoughtful bf who tried paving her way behind her back, mine does nothing.. Nobody seems to realise this problem. To realise that I am too, a living human. Perhaps, it's better that way. Since I won't want others to worry for me. Today, I'm feeling better. So what if there's no YEP this Dec? I can always embark on my own YEP when the time is right. At least I know, there's someone who will always be there supporting my cause. We can do it together, complete it the meaningful way.. And NOPE! I'm not hating her still. She can be weak as a girl, but I'm good with being the stronger one. At least, towards her, my conscious is clear. Hating someone is too tiring, I rather keep this friend, even if she doesn't acknowledge it.
With sincere blessings, I wish her all the best for her future endeavous.
Like I said, I'm feeling much better now. And I bet, many others are hating me now. I'm flying this Dec again. My third flight this year. This time round, I'm going to Japan. Shouldn't I feel better? LOL. =p
5:00 PM