Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Read an article shared by the friend on facebook. Thought it was really meaningful. A love measured in memories was the title of the article posted on TODAYonline by Jason Wong, a prison officer. The amount of articles on the concerns of the general Singapore population (on maids, marriage rates etc) has put marriage and parenting back in the limelight. In today's society, the younger generation despite marriage, are less willing to have babies and more often than not, because of the workload and stress, many couldn't have one even as they tried. I've seen it in my family. My family used to be very big! My aunts have at least 3 children. These days, some of my married cousins are childless. Remember a friend of mine one told me, her dream is to be a good wife and a good mother. Those words etched in my mind. Not that she's not smart. She's a brilliant girl. Fast learner, good with her studies. Academically, she's not your average student. She's a high flyer, used to be top in my secondary school, moving on to a good JC and now an hons graduate. With the amount spent in school, to me there's much more for her to give up in the name of her childhood dream. But to her, that's not a sacrifice. It's something that she wanted. It's her expectation. She's working towards her goal now.
Different people at different stages of life, look for different expectations, my HR said.
Back to the topic of family. My grandma passed away because of an infection to her leg due to a bad fall one night. She had a habit to boil water before she slept. I remember when I was younger, I will always wait for my grandma to do so before I bed in. Sadly, on that fateful day, I was too tired. I tucked into bed early. And bad things happened. I didn't know that grandma had a fall till I came home from school the next morning. It was a horrible period for me. That aside, my grandma's passing made me grow up overnight. Yes, it's almost an overnight thing. I have no idea why there was this change. But it just happened in me.
Because of the bad childhood experience that I had, I'm afraid of elderly falling these days. I'm afraid of the god of death.
Just came back from SuperStar Virgo on Sunday. It was my maiden experience. I never like cruise (though it's my first overnight cruise) cuz it makes me feel restricted. Tucked in the middle of nowhere. Maybe I'm just weird. hahaha. Had spent a good time with my family. Our work and studies had over the years drew me and my siblings apart at some point in life. But the trip drew us back together again. I'm glad that my brothers are less temperamental now (even if it's temporal). hahaha :P My parents are lucky to be young parents to a set of grown up kids now. And I'm lucky to have my parents to taught me responsibility and being in charge. It has since became a grown-in personality that I keep interfering into people's decision making. Just like how I quarreled with honey cuz I don't like how he packed my luggage during our last day of US trip. That quarrel left a deep impression in me. Sometimes I just have to let go and let others do it.
My method may not always be right, and others could have done it better too. I need to learn to let go..
On a side note, living in a squeezy house does not seem so bad after all. The four of us used to sleep in one room at home. Our relationship was close that time. And then as my brothers moved into my late grandma's room, our relationship drifted. The cruise trip brought us back together again, squeezing four in a room cuz we don't want to disturb our parents. Glad that my siblings had the same intention as I had when I suggested the plan to dad. :)
I am a workaholic, and I still am. I'm supposed to start work proper this Friday at a Japanese company doing industrial control systems. That is somewhat my dream job. Never mind about the starting pay. All that I need was a good working environment, wonderful colleagues and a considerate boss. My direct boss is a nice guy, full of passion. I'm sure I'll learn a lot from him! :) Despite the papers ringing that it's the employees' market now, it's not entirely true. Most companies still don't pay well, unless u are working in the government sector. And employers can be choosy too! :p
Earlier intention was to finish my present work with MMI on Thursday and then start work on Friday. After thinking over it, I've decided to keep my last day on Wednesday. It's a hard decision. I'll miss my old colleagues. But I have to make time for my own family. Gonna go market and cook a nice dinner for them. After Thursday, I'll be out in the society for real. I have no idea when is the next time I can cook for my family again like how I used to do so after sch or during my free days.
At some point in life, I have to grow up.
4:41 AM
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
As daddy says, I've traveled much over the years. It's time to settle down and work for my better future. I agree. I will dedicate the next 2 years purely for work. Following which, to sponsor my family to our own flight trip that we have lagged behind many others. When I was younger, I used to wonder why others could have their holidays flying overseas but we can't. It's a dream then. And now, I'm going to make it a reality. I'm all set to make this my short term goal.
You know, graduation trip really helps. I feel like a new person upon my return from the States. There, I found my inspirations. I found determination. And so, my new direction. As I always believe, dreams are only dreams unless you work on it, and make it true. Don't stop believing in dreams. Only with dreams, we move far.
11:32 AM
Friday, June 10, 2011
it's only my third day back in Singapore. Haven't gone back to work yet cuz of the interview that I am going for.
But I already feel like dying.
I need work to stay alive!
ahh.. I can never make a tai tai! I'll not survive! Who else but me will feel lost after a lunch in town. And shopping just makes me more bored.
Ok, I'm a boring person. :p
10:18 AM